lilianev

• I love my new phone! I can post pics from my phone straight to our website… awesome! #

Today’s item on woot.com looks like the machine monster from the movie The Incredibles.

Item on Woot.com:

Machine Monster from The Incredibles:

Isn’t that funny?! I pulled www.woot.com up this morning and that resemblance is the first thing that I thought of. The second thing I thought of is what a bad idea it is to make an ecomposter look like a scary monster. Sounds like a quick way to make people scared of composting.

Most people think that those who pack lunches are those who are healthy, know better, want to save money, etc. In general, these people are looked on in a positive light.

There’s a secret though. Those who pack lunches, every single morning, Monday through Friday… they wish they were going out for lunch. They wish they didn’t have to wake up the extra 10-15 minutes each morning and pack a lunch. They’re tired of friggin’ home-made turkey sandwiches every day. They’re tired of their “adult” lunch boxes. They’re friggin’ exhausted of those damn little lunch box freezer packs.

So on that special day that comes only once in a while… They decide to not pack lunch (gasp) and tempt fate by going out for lunch.

They plan on going at 1pm because they work on a college campus, and they hate getting stampeded by 18 yr olds that still need a crossing guard because they’re seeing double from last night’s kegger, and for some reason — they ALL eat at noon. Programmed quite well by high school lunch hour.

Their plan for 1pm gets scrapped at noon, because an impromptu meeting gets scheduled for 1:30pm. Quickly, they attempt to leave campus for a nice, quiet Indian lunch buffet. They get stampeded by hundreds of hungover 18 yr olds that are still on high school lunch time, in a frenzy for food that wasn’t packed at home by mommy.

They never leave campus. 20 minutes in to the crossing-guard-regulated-stampede, they scratch the quiet Indian buffet and decide to turn back and attempt to eat at one of the campus dining options. Yes, I did just point out there is a CROSSING GUARD on a COLLEGE CAMPUS. Yes, I know; I haven’t used a crossing guard since the 5th grade either.

Anyhow. Because half of lunch was spent traveling the wrong way in the midst of a stampede, they can’t go to the nicest of the campus dining options because they don’t have enough time. They pick something out that looks similar to the Panera “Pick 2″ deal. When the sandwich comes out of the refrigerator, pre-made, with lettuce, tomatoes, swiss cheese, and cold turkey on it, they begin to miss their home made turkey sandwich that would NEVER EVER have lettuce, tomatoes, and swiss cheese on it. At this point, they’re glad it’s a pick two. And then they open the soup container. And they wish it was a pick zero. It’s too late at that point, so they spend $5.99 on a sandwich and cup of soup that they absolutely refuse to eat because it would be morally wrong to eat the “I-wish-I-picked-zero” deal.

Shed 2 tears because they haven’t eaten in 5 hours and they miss their adult lunch boxes so bad they’re seeing it in their mind’s eye.

They pull it together. It’s now past 1pm, the hungover 18 yr olds have retreated back indoors because recess time is over, and they can actually make it off of campus. They get in the SUV and head for quick, fast food.

They discover their gas light is on because they sat at a cross-walk watching a crossing guard help “adults” cross the street for 20 minutes.

They go get gas. Re-group. Head for fast food.

In this particular scenario, they only have 2 options: McDonald’s and Taco Hell.

They choose Taco Hell because they’re going out for a burger at dinner tonight. They get in the drive-thru line. Sit there for over 5 minutes and get frustrated. They pull out of the drive-thru line, and go park. After parking, they go inside and order two, all bean Double Deckers, with sour cream. They start to relax because they’re finally going to eat and the AC feels great. Get food and sit down. They unwrap their food and discover that there is no sour cream on their Double Deckers, but lettuce and tomatoes instead. They wrap it back up because they’re going to throw away the second lunch of today. Unwrap it again because they feel AWFUL for throwing away food again. Debate for 30 seconds. Wrap it back up another time because they’re pretending they got an important message on their phone and they have to leave right away. They walk away hurriedly, while knowing they’re just pretending and they’re going to throw away those Double Deckers the first chance they get. Waste more lunch money.

At this point, the usual pack-lunch-at-home-people would be on the edge of madness because of the waste of money, gas, time, and food in the past hour. But because they STILL have not eaten yet, they’re past the edge of madness and instead, they’re fully saturated in the true madness zone because they STILL have not eaten yet.

They leave Taco Hell and head to McDonald’s. They order a plain cheeseburger and ruin their appetite for a burger at dinner. They don’t give a shit though.

They vow pack their adult lunch box with home-made turkey sandwiches every day until the day they die.

• Got my new HTC evo last night & I love it so far!! #
• Getting my new HTC evo tonight after work! I'm excited! Especially because my old phone fell in to separate pieces a week ago… #

• AC went out last night, we went to bed and it was 80 degrees. Woke up and its 83 inside, hope they get here soon #

I can never remember how to make swirls in Illustrator. Every single time I do it, I have to reference this tutorial:
http://www.bittbox.com/illustrator/illustrator-how-to-make-custom-swooshes-swirls-and-curls

It is, by far, the best tutorial out there on swirls and swooshes in Illustrator.

Making swooshes is actually pretty straightforward. Make a circle with the Ellipse tool, then convert one of the side of the circle in to an anchor point using the “Convert to Anchor Point tool.” Turn this guy in to a brush. Then make a spiral using the spiral tool. While the spiral you made is selected, apply your new brush to it. Voila! It’s a swoosh!

See, I remember the steps on how to do it, it’s just the tutorial is very detailed and thorough so I always think I need to go back and look at it. And it’s probably a good idea.

• Going to Widespread Panic show tonight!! 3 night sold-out run in Knoxville… It's gonna be AWESOME #

72 hours. If you have had a tetanus shot within the last 5 years, you should still get the puncture wound looked at.

I’m no doctor (or nurse practitioner) but I googled that question last night and found no solid answer. However, I did find out the answer in the ER last night so I’m posting about it today.

Our good friends, A & M, are moving in to their new house this weekend, so they asked Mark to help move their couch to the street last night. We agree and head over. Well, they’re not ready to go and we have to take all this other crap out to the curb to make room in the apartment to move the couch out.

My husband and our friend A throw all this wooden furniture over A & M’s staircase — its a second floor apartment with a fire escape staircase up it. While the guys attempt to get the couch out the front door, I’m stuck outside because the couch is stuck in the front door and won’t budge. I decide to pick up all the crap they threw off the top of the stairs because I’m stuck outside anyways. Well, I was feeling lazy and I didn’t feel like picking up all these heavy wood pieces that were just getting thrown away. So, I decided to just drag them down to the curb.

I’m dragging everything, and it’s going fine, and then all of a sudden I drag this huge top to a wooden coffee table straight into my leg. The nail pops right in, and then I move, and I can feel it pop out. Straight puncture wound.

Now I have blood dripping down my leg & the couch is still stuck in the doorway. I crawl over the couch through the doorway to pour hydrogen peroxide straight into my leg. Well, they don’t have hydrogen peroxide because they’re moving. I walk home and stick like 8 Q-tips soaked in hydrogen peroxide in my leg (I don’t think anyone else should do that. I do not recommend and I do not think it’s a puncture wound best practice. Do Not Do the Q-tip Thing. Just rinse with water & go see a doctor). Less than 10 minutes later, Mark walks in the front door and tells me that they couldn’t get the f’ing couch out of the apartment, they need A & M’s neighbor to be home & open her door, so they can slide it in there and turn it, to then get it down the stairs.

Because it’s late at night, we go to the ER and I get my tetanus shot (after the mandatory 3.5 hour ER wait). After the shot, the doctor says to me, “did you know you can wait up to 72 hours after a puncture wound to get a tetanus shot?” and I’m like, “WTF?! of course not! Otherwise I wouldnt f’ing be here!!!!” Obviously, I said all that in my head and not aloud.

So today…. my right arm hurts so much from this tetanus shot, I wince every time I move my mouse. And I’m just dreading the text that’s coming later tonight from A & M asking for us to come back and help move that couch outside.

The moral of the story is to 1) stay up-to-date on your tetanus shots, 2) know that you have 72 hours after a puncture wound to get a tetanus shot, 3) keep hydrogen peroxide out while moving, and 4) get the tetanus shot in your non-dominant arm because it hurts like a bitch.

• 2 hours to go! TGIF. #
• took 40 minutes to get to work today. yowza! worst traffic I've ever seen in Knoxville. not like i've seen a lot tho… #
• after first sending them to Wisconsin, UPS has our new macbook laptop & appleTV here in Knoxville. Can't wait to go pick 'em up! #

• Watchin last world cup
  Germany game @ crown & goose #
• tonight we're goin to the honduran restaurant for dinner & happy hour. yummy! #
• raining in knoxville for first time in weeks, i hope the humidity drops off… #